I went to go see Beastly this weekend. As soon as I entered the theater and sat down, I noticed something. I may be too damned old to go see this movie in theaters.
As soon as I entered theater #3, I noticed the teenyboppers. Their high-pitched chatter is impossible to ignore. My roommate and I take seats near the top (my roommate believes that movie times are advisements rather than finite start times, so we are always a bit late). We watched the ill-fitting trailers (seriously, what young girl wants to see In a Better World?) and put up with the constant shuffling and bumping behind us.
The movie begins with a simplistic title card. Then a few minutes of eye candy for the girls. Alex Pettyfer spends some time working out and checking himself out in front of the mirror–for those of us older that 17, Alex is 20, so it is OK to think he’s hot.
The minute Alex appeared shirtless on the screen, dozens of young girls sighed and giggled. A great twittering rippled through the darkened auditorium and I felt old. A recent study showed that women start to feel old by 29, so being 28 I suppose it’s normal to feel this way. But it still sucks.
As for the movie itself? I’ve got one question for you. Do you like Disney’s Beauty and the Beast? If you did then you’d like Beastly.
At this time I’d say “WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD” but, seriously, how can I spoil the story of Beauty and the Beast? This is remake number 2,678.
The movie had the same plot beats has the animated classic. Father gets in trouble. Beast holds Beauty in his castle. She doesn’t leave her room. Staff helps Beast woo her. Then Beast plays up her passions with a surprise room (the library scene in the Disney version). And the list goes on and on. Even some lines from Beastly are pulled directly from Beauty and the Beast.
Most likely because of all the similarities (and Neil Patrick Harris being hilarious), I liked Beastly. It was a well done update of the classic French fairy tale that highlights the importance of physical appearance over substance in today’s society–especially in high school. Admittedly, there are some eye-rolling moments of extreme sappiness.
After the movie, my roommate and wondered if there exists a version of Beauty and the Beast where the female is the beast and the man must fall love with an unappealing woman. We couldn’t think of one. Can you? And what does that say about us?